A tale as old as...me

So I'm tutoring twice a week at a high school here in town.­ (Side note: This high school is huge.­ The first time I saw it, I thought, "What large governing body convenes here?") It's a city-­wide program sponsored by the local university, and it's pretty small at my particular school.­ Thus there is very poor communication, and sometimes there is confusion about the room where we're supposed to meet.­ Such was the case today.­

At this high school, they are also extremely strict about having kids out in the halls.­ If you're in the hall after the bell rings, they waste no time or tact in shuffling you off to class.­ Same with after school: you have six minutes to get to wherever you're going, and don't worry, because the hall monitor with the megaphone will do a countdown for you in case you lose track of time.

­Anyway, due to the scheduling conflict, which came to my attention when I arrived during the last class break of the day, I was instructed to wait outside the room until someone could resolve the issue for me.­ So I sat on a bench with my laptop and sweater in hand.­ A few minutes after class started, two hall monitors and a police officer approached me and said in a tone that left no doubt as to who was the authority figure here, "What're you still doing out here?"

Normally I'm pretty forgiving about such misunderstandings, but something about this situation triggered my Sassy Switch, and I replied, in a tone leaving no doubt as to who had made the faux pas here, "I'm a tutor waiting for someone to get me a room.­"

At which point the hall monitor said, "Oh.­ Right.­ I'm just going to walk away now.­.­.­"

And then we were both adults, so I could reply friendlily, "I'm a lot older than I look.­" And, not wanting to deny the men their chance to shine, I added, "But I could still give you some attitude, if you'd like.­" The officer assured me that I wouldn't like the results of doing that, and then they were distracted by a radio call of a fight in the girls' restroom, which happened to be just on the other side of the hall.­

Of course, they couldn't actually go IN the girls' restroom, and those clever girls had turned on the hand dryers.­.­.­ So the bashful hall monitor motioned for me to come investigate! I was spared any violence, however, when a ninth-­grader exited the room and reported that there wasn't actually anyone else in there---false alarm.