Wednesday, November 14

Breaking and entering?

Yesterday morning the Relief Society president called to tell me that Parry, the deaf woman who I visit teach, was in the hospital. I agreed to go visit her later that afternoon on my way to the high school to tutor.

Naturally, I whiled away at least an hour in frivolity, then left to visit Parry with just enough time for a ten to fifteen minute visit. After all, my communication abilities with the deaf are limited at best, and you can only ask how someone is doing and then nod as if you understand their answer so many times.

Parry was happy to see me and gave me some interaction between text messages to her daughter. I managed to understand that she felt better than she did the night before and that she wasn't sure when she was going home. At some point I became aware that she was worried about draining the battery on her cell phone and that she wanted me to go back to her apartment to collect it. I was worried about time and tried to politely decline, saying I had to work, and could she wait until this evening? But she was very persuasively adamant that she needed it right now, and she doesn't live too far away, and I just didn't know how to tactfully say no. (Literally.)

So off I go. As I'm walking out the door she stops me to add some important information---her apartment number. I'm glad she remembered to tell me that she had moved apartments since I last visited her...

Good thing it's a short drive to the apartment, because I'm in a hurry. As I go to put the key in the lock, I'm stopped by what sounds like the high-pitched frequency of a television on inside. Strange. Could her also-deaf husband be home? I "ring" the "doorbell"---a button connected to a solitary bulb on the floor of the living room. No response. I've got to get going. I open the door. The TV is on, no volume, closed-captions going. I peek my head around the door. No lights on, that I can see, and I can't hear anything. The place is kind of messy, and who's going to think to turn off the TV when you're headed to the hospital? It was probably left on by accident. Besides, what could I do? It's not like I can call out, "Hey, is anybody home?" I step gingerly inside the apartment. I think I hear something in the other room, but isn't that just the sound of a dog collar outside...or do they have a dog...? There's no time for this. I decide to make a break for the phone charger. I head for the outlet, only to find that there are approximately fourteen different small black cords plugged in and tangled all over the place. Wait --- definitely just heard a sound from the other room. Panic. No phone charger in sight---it's probably behind the couch---and there's a whole room between me and the front door. Decide to head back out the door and try again to enter the socially acceptable way. I hear more noise coming from the bedroom. A wrapping-up-an-activity-and-heading-for-the-living-room sort of noise. Footsteps. Too much distance between me and the front door. All I can think is, "Please have clothes on please have clothes on pleasehaveclotheson--"

And then we met---it took a minute for a (thankfully) fully-clothed Bruce to see me, but I was keenly aware of him, having been tipped off by my auditory advantage--and he made an eek sound, and I made an eek sound, and I frantically tried to gesticulate that I had a key, and your wife gave it to me, and she wanted her---her---this thing, this cell phone thing, the thing that plugs into the wall, and I'm sorry for showing up in your living room in the middle of the day, but she gave me a key, see, and---where's the cell phone charger?

I told Parry about it when I got back, and she thought it was hilarious. And I was a good 20 minutes late to tutoring.


the christensens said...

oh. my. gosh. Dani - I am trying so hard not to laugh out loud right now as I'm sitting in my cubicle in the office! This story is hilarious - I love the step by step details. And I especially love imagining your face throughout it all. Wow. I am so glad you survived. :) Thanks for sharing!! I loved it!!

Lindsey Whiting said...

very awkward and very funny.

Ann-Marie said...

I haven't heard this story yet...oh goodness!!! I'm sure you just about died. I would have!