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Some things are SO FUNNY that you absolutely must share them with people. And even though you have no idea what else is going on in Uncle Fred in the Springtime by P.G. Wodehouse, you can appreciate the humor in this paragraph on page 57:

'We come to the conclusion,' [said Ickenham], 'that the whole situation pivots on the pig. Eliminate the pig, and we see daylight. "What, no pig?" says the Duke, and after a little natural disappointment turns his thoughts to other things -- I don't know what, but whatever things Dukes do turn their thoughts to. There must be dozens. This leaves us with the simple problem -- How is the existing state of what I might call "plus pig" to be converted into a state of "minus pig"? There can only be one answer, my dear Emsworth. The pig must be smuggled away to a place of safety and kept under cover till the Duke has blown over.'

Thanks again, Salvation Army.